Etiqueta: relationships
Limerence: The Delightfully Irrational State Where Your Brain Turns Into an Overcooked Noodle
This post explores limerence, the obsessive form of romantic infatuation defined by psychologist Dorothy Tennov. It outlines its main characteristics, how it differs from stable love, its psychological effects and how it can influence behaviour and relationships. A personal anecdote illustrates how limerence can distort priorities and emotional wellbeing, and how recognising it helps create… →
My wife is my best friend. How do I tell her I want an open marriage?
I am a thirtysomething woman and have been with my partner for six years– we’ve been married for about half that time. In many ways, we have a wonderful marriage: she is my best friend as well as my wife. The issue is our sex life. She has a very low sex drive, whereas mine is high. She won’t ever instigate sex, due to past trauma, and I can no longer tolerate always being the one doing the chasing. As a result, our sex life is pretty dead in the water. I do not want to end our marriage, but I want to be desired. We have tried to talk about this, but nothing ever really changes and I am now at the point where I have become less and less attracted to her sexually and we’ve both stopped trying. Last year, I developed an infatuation with someone at work. It lasted for a year and I spent a lot of time imagining what it would be like to be with her. It has died down only because I have distanced myself from her. But it made me realise how much I want to have sex with someone else. I have no idea how to go about telling my wife that I want to stay married, but sleep with other people – yet I don’t think I could live with the guilt if I had a secret affair.
Pamela Stephenson Connolly
